Grasshopper walks into a bar.
Walks up to the bartender orders a drink.
Bartender says "we don't get many grasshoppers in here."
Grasshopper replies "and with these prices, you won't be gettin' many more."
Same bar...
Band saw walks into a bar.
Walks up to the bar, sits down next to a power sander and asks...
"You know the drill, right?"
Next day, same bar...
Neutron walks into the bar, orders a beer.
Bartender says, "for you, no charge!"
Same bar...
Termite walks into a bar, walks up and asks..."Is the bartender here?"
A different bar, a different grasshopper
Grasshopper walks into a bar
bartender says, "wow, you're a popular guy around here, we even have a drink named after you"
Grasshopper says "You've got a drink named Steve?"
A young man from Texas walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender asks “Ya got any ID”? The Texan replies, “About what”?
Same bar...
A man walks into a bar witha slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please and one for the road."
Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Beer?" Descartes replies, "I think not," and he disappears.
So, this tissue walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Can I pour you a drink?" Tissue says, "Heck no, it'll go right through me!" Bartender says, "Well, you don't have to get all snotty about it."
A guy and his pet newt walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "What's that thing on your shoulder?" The guy says, "Oh, well he's my pet. His name is Tiny." The bartender replies, "Why'd you name him that?" And the guy replies, "Because he's my newt!"
May 25, 2006
Duck waks into a bar...
Duck walks into a bar. Walks up to the bartender asks.."got any grapes?"
--No this is a bar, we don't have any grapes.
The duck sighs, looks down at his floppy feet and walks away disappointed.
Next day, same bar...
Duck walks into a bar. Walks up to the bartender asks.."got any grapes?"
--"No duck, I told you yesterday, we don't have any grapes."
Duck S i g h s, looks down at his floppy feet, and walks away disappointed.
Next day, same bar...
Duck walks into the bar, walks up to the bartender..."got any grapes?"
--"Look duck, I've told you we don't have any grapes. If you ask me again, I'm going to nail your beak to the bar."
The duck looks down. He's wounded, hurt...torn apart by the bartender's threat.
He looks down at his floppy feet, s i g h s, and then suddenly...a look of joy in his eyes he asks:
"Got any nails??"
--"Umm. No?"
"Got any grapes?
--No this is a bar, we don't have any grapes.
The duck sighs, looks down at his floppy feet and walks away disappointed.
Next day, same bar...
Duck walks into a bar. Walks up to the bartender asks.."got any grapes?"
--"No duck, I told you yesterday, we don't have any grapes."
Duck S i g h s, looks down at his floppy feet, and walks away disappointed.
Next day, same bar...
Duck walks into the bar, walks up to the bartender..."got any grapes?"
--"Look duck, I've told you we don't have any grapes. If you ask me again, I'm going to nail your beak to the bar."
The duck looks down. He's wounded, hurt...torn apart by the bartender's threat.
He looks down at his floppy feet, s i g h s, and then suddenly...a look of joy in his eyes he asks:
"Got any nails??"
--"Umm. No?"
"Got any grapes?
May 23, 2006
New Path
Not an easy decision, but I think it is one that will be great for me and our family. I recently accepted an position where I will be working for a company as a Sales Consultant for Neurosurgeon's doing spinal fusions. The company I will be working for is called Synthes Spine, and I will be starting the new position on May 30th. There will be quite a long transition time, so for that I will be spending some time in the cities. Along with that I will be responsible for the surgeons in Minot, Bismarck, Fargo and Grand Forks. I am leaving some very good people and a great company at Forest, I am very grateful very everything they have done for me and will miss them very much. I am very excited about this opportunity, and although it will be very challenging, I can hardly wait to get started.
Also, with Chad, Kristy and their family moving back to the area we are very much so looking forward to a great summer!
Also, with Chad, Kristy and their family moving back to the area we are very much so looking forward to a great summer!
Chip Time is in... 3:56:38
As some of you noticed, there were quite a few times that didn't get reported right away. Apparently the company responsible for doing just that had some technical difficulties. That included my time, along with my running partner and a couple other runners I know. They have posted the accurate chip times and in today's Fargo Forum they reported the omitted runners, myself included. Thanks to all for the kind words and congratulatory messages.
May 21, 2006
3:58!
Here are the official results from the Fargo marathon. This doesn't include the chip time, which is time from when you cross the start line until you cross the finish line. It is from when the gun goes off, and because I was quite a ways back in the pack, my chip time should be a little better. My goal was to run it in 4 hours.
Mitch Benson
bib number: 751
age: 31
gender: M
location: Fargo, ND
overall place: 363 out of 972
division place: 43 out of 93
gender place: 294 out of 651
time: 3:58:13
pace: 9:06
10k: 54:58
13.1: 1:58:34
20 m: 3:01:11
last 10k: 55:25
Mitch Benson
bib number: 751
age: 31
gender: M
location: Fargo, ND
overall place: 363 out of 972
division place: 43 out of 93
gender place: 294 out of 651
time: 3:58:13
pace: 9:06
10k: 54:58
13.1: 1:58:34
20 m: 3:01:11
last 10k: 55:25
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