I can't stop!

Grasshopper walks into a bar.
Walks up to the bartender orders a drink.
Bartender says "we don't get many grasshoppers in here."
Grasshopper replies "and with these prices, you won't be gettin' many more."

Same bar...

Band saw walks into a bar.
Walks up to the bar, sits down next to a power sander and asks...
"You know the drill, right?"

Next day, same bar...

Neutron walks into the bar, orders a beer.
Bartender says, "for you, no charge!"

Same bar...

Termite walks into a bar, walks up and asks..."Is the bartender here?"

A different bar, a different grasshopper

Grasshopper walks into a bar
bartender says, "wow, you're a popular guy around here, we even have a drink named after you"
Grasshopper says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

A young man from Texas walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender asks “Ya got any ID”? The Texan replies, “About what”?


Same bar...
A man walks into a bar witha slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please and one for the road."

Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Beer?" Descartes replies, "I think not," and he disappears.

So, this tissue walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Can I pour you a drink?" Tissue says, "Heck no, it'll go right through me!" Bartender says, "Well, you don't have to get all snotty about it."

A guy and his pet newt walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "What's that thing on your shoulder?" The guy says, "Oh, well he's my pet. His name is Tiny." The bartender replies, "Why'd you name him that?" And the guy replies, "Because he's my newt!"