November 21, 2005
Christmas Gifts
What is the most memorable Christmas gift you ever received? It may be memorable for a variety of different reasons, good or bad. I can tell you my most memorable and this is good. Those who know this story are probably already belly laughing. It was back in '94, my first year out of High School. I was going to Univ of Mary, in Bismarck. I took on a job at Scheels Sporting Goods. It was a great job and I loved a lot a things about it, but few things more than the discount. I offered to my Mom and family that if they needed to buy any gifts for friends and family and they found it at Scheels I would buy it for them because I get a great discount. Mom took me up on this and I bought a couple items for her. One of the gifts was a pair of roller blades for a relative that is about 6'2'' tall and goes a good 260 lbs... a big fella! I asked why she was getting him these size 10 roller blades. She told me that Jim was going to try to exercise more and thought roller blades looked like fun, and she said that was his size. Immediately I pictured Jim stumbling down the street trying to use these roller blades, not a graceful sight, but I thought whatever, he just wants to get more exercise and that’s cool. Well wouldn't you know here comes Christmas and I have this heaping helping of presents sitting in front of me and I can't wait to dig in. About half way through the pile and I open up this rather large box, you guessed it Roller blades. I say to Mom, you know I could have gotten you a discount on these, why didn't you have me get them for you. She says... You did! I guess the joke was on me.
November 19, 2005
Family... A Philosophical discussion pt.II
Here are my thoughts on the previous posting. I appreciate everyones candid comments. DK you crack me up. If you found yourself being very upset about the post, maybe it is you that really needs to look at the questions and think about what you think of the topic. There is a reason that I chose to do this post. Most of the people that look at this blog are my family, and this is a conversation that has never been had.
What is your idea of a faultless family? No such thing.
What is a parent's role?
I do think the role of parent’s changes. I do not think that a parent has the same goals for their influence on a 35 year old as when that child was 16. Their role changes from disciplinarian and life skills guide to be a parent that is there for advice, insight and to be a role model.
Do these roles change when you have a family of your own or when others do?
I think the role of a parent changes drastically when their children have a family because the children’s’ role has changed; they are parents and have spouses. Your time to shape them into good people has passed now you are there to support them and to spoil the grandchildren. Enjoy the product of your parenting.
What is a sibling's role?
Siblings are to be the best friend even when they really get under your skin. A sibling is there to beat the hell out of one minute and throw the football to the next. Siblings also give the tough advice that parents can’t get away with, like quite rolling your jeans, they look ridiculous.
Do you extend more/less than you expect back?
A kind generous person never gives with the expectation of receiving something in return. To teach a child to give without the expectations of getting something in return is one of the greatest life lessons a parent can teach a child. All that being said you have to know that family member and know what to expect in return for your efforts, why would you set yourself up for disappointment?
Do you have higher standards for yourself as a parent than you did for your parents?
I think this is difficult to answer without my parents being offended. But, I would ask my Mom and Dad what their response is before they judge me about mine. Did you ever wish your parents said ‘I love you’ more? What did you do about it? Did you tell your children more? I do think you can set higher standards for what you expect of yourself as a parent. I also know that many people look to their parents and just hope they can be the kind of parents that theirs have been. So this answer is subjective.
Is part of a parent's role to establish and maintain harmony among everyone? How?
I think that it is a parent’s role to establish harmony among the family. Parents can create an atmosphere where harmony can manifest itself, with family trips, gatherings, vacations and holidays. Along with the gatherings, the parents need to promote positivism and good will. If the gatherings are fun and full of love then harmony will take care of itself.
Is there such thing as good will within families? Yes, it is necessary. By the way I define good will as doing things, small things and big things, only with the hope of making that person happy. Sending roses to your wife for no reason is a good example of good will.
Should your good will be returned or is there no need to return the good will, no obligation?
Yes you should return good will, but there is no obligation.
Is it “do unto others only as they do unto you”, no more... no less? I think good will should be the rule, but when this is taken advantage of, or abused it will probably become more difficult to initiate good will.
Maybe so, because you see your role (as a child, parent, brother, sister or whatever) is to carry more of the burden than the other.
This may not be fair, but it seems that the role of parents of young adults may be out of balance. The parents seem to have to do more than the young adult.
Are families supposed to be tolerant of each other? I think tolerance does have a place in families. Only if you agree with everything anyone does and says, do you never have to tolerate within the family. I know that my family has to tolerate many things about me. Anyone smoke in the family, do you tolerate it? Do you tolerate things about your spouse? Hunting, candle parties, tennis lessons, golf, 4-wheeling and etc. I know my wife does.
What is your idea of a faultless family? No such thing.
What is a parent's role?
I do think the role of parent’s changes. I do not think that a parent has the same goals for their influence on a 35 year old as when that child was 16. Their role changes from disciplinarian and life skills guide to be a parent that is there for advice, insight and to be a role model.
Do these roles change when you have a family of your own or when others do?
I think the role of a parent changes drastically when their children have a family because the children’s’ role has changed; they are parents and have spouses. Your time to shape them into good people has passed now you are there to support them and to spoil the grandchildren. Enjoy the product of your parenting.
What is a sibling's role?
Siblings are to be the best friend even when they really get under your skin. A sibling is there to beat the hell out of one minute and throw the football to the next. Siblings also give the tough advice that parents can’t get away with, like quite rolling your jeans, they look ridiculous.
Do you extend more/less than you expect back?
A kind generous person never gives with the expectation of receiving something in return. To teach a child to give without the expectations of getting something in return is one of the greatest life lessons a parent can teach a child. All that being said you have to know that family member and know what to expect in return for your efforts, why would you set yourself up for disappointment?
Do you have higher standards for yourself as a parent than you did for your parents?
I think this is difficult to answer without my parents being offended. But, I would ask my Mom and Dad what their response is before they judge me about mine. Did you ever wish your parents said ‘I love you’ more? What did you do about it? Did you tell your children more? I do think you can set higher standards for what you expect of yourself as a parent. I also know that many people look to their parents and just hope they can be the kind of parents that theirs have been. So this answer is subjective.
Is part of a parent's role to establish and maintain harmony among everyone? How?
I think that it is a parent’s role to establish harmony among the family. Parents can create an atmosphere where harmony can manifest itself, with family trips, gatherings, vacations and holidays. Along with the gatherings, the parents need to promote positivism and good will. If the gatherings are fun and full of love then harmony will take care of itself.
Is there such thing as good will within families? Yes, it is necessary. By the way I define good will as doing things, small things and big things, only with the hope of making that person happy. Sending roses to your wife for no reason is a good example of good will.
Should your good will be returned or is there no need to return the good will, no obligation?
Yes you should return good will, but there is no obligation.
Is it “do unto others only as they do unto you”, no more... no less? I think good will should be the rule, but when this is taken advantage of, or abused it will probably become more difficult to initiate good will.
Maybe so, because you see your role (as a child, parent, brother, sister or whatever) is to carry more of the burden than the other.
This may not be fair, but it seems that the role of parents of young adults may be out of balance. The parents seem to have to do more than the young adult.
Are families supposed to be tolerant of each other? I think tolerance does have a place in families. Only if you agree with everything anyone does and says, do you never have to tolerate within the family. I know that my family has to tolerate many things about me. Anyone smoke in the family, do you tolerate it? Do you tolerate things about your spouse? Hunting, candle parties, tennis lessons, golf, 4-wheeling and etc. I know my wife does.
November 14, 2005
Family... A Philosophical discussion
I would like a little feedback on this one... On the content, not anything directed at me or my family. Don't get pissed because you think it is about you, just having a healthy discussion here. Remember my, blog my rules :) If you are easily offended by things that aren't meant to offend you.... do not continue to read!
What is your idea of a faultless family?
What is a parent's role?
What is a sibling's role?
Do these roles change when you have a family of your own or when others do?
Do you extend more/less than you expect back?
Do you have higher standards for yourself as a parent than you did for your parents?
How about Grandparents, grandchildren, cousins, Step-parents (since we all have them; must have been the in-thing back in the 70's and 80's) That is intended to be funny!!!!!! Don't get mad, laugh!!!
Is part of a parent's role to establish and maintain harmony among everyone? How?
Is there such thing as good will within families?
Should your good will be returned or is there no need to return the good will, no obligation?
Or is it do unto others only as they do unto you, no more... no less?
For example, if you rarely hear from a family member, can they expect you to contact them more than they contact you?
Maybe so, because you see your role ( as a child, parent, brother, sister or whatever) is to carry more of the burden than the other.
Are families supposed to be tolerant of each other? Obviously they are, but to what extent? For example, if you don't hear from them for a while; you aren't invited to parties or gatherings, etc. Are you to still unconditionally love them and accept them for who they are and how your relationship is with them? Because you are never invited, does this mean you are less loved? Can you be upset about never hearing from them? This is just how your relationship is and always has been. Do you have the right to be upset about it? And if you invite someone to these things, but they don't come for what seems to be legitimate reasons, should you be spiteful of that? Should you even pass judgement?
Now, is it possible to respond to these questions without assuming: a) it is about you or b) you know my answer to the question? I don't have answers, you don't have answers we just have opinions and beliefs. I challenge you to put your two cents in without being offended. After all, I am just putting this up as a conversation point.
You will have to control your eagerness to read into any of the questions, they are just questions that where on my mind. Don't make this something it is not. Think of this as a positive forum for exchanging ideas and gaining understanding of what each of us expects from family, your family.
Sorry for all the cautions and requests for checking your temper, but you may remember that once upon a time I ranted about Xmas lists and suddenly I was a idealistic scrouge that may never recieve a gift for the rest of my life! I love every gift I have ever recieved! Even the carolina blue fleece vest.
What is your idea of a faultless family?
What is a parent's role?
What is a sibling's role?
Do these roles change when you have a family of your own or when others do?
Do you extend more/less than you expect back?
Do you have higher standards for yourself as a parent than you did for your parents?
How about Grandparents, grandchildren, cousins, Step-parents (since we all have them; must have been the in-thing back in the 70's and 80's) That is intended to be funny!!!!!! Don't get mad, laugh!!!
Is part of a parent's role to establish and maintain harmony among everyone? How?
Is there such thing as good will within families?
Should your good will be returned or is there no need to return the good will, no obligation?
Or is it do unto others only as they do unto you, no more... no less?
For example, if you rarely hear from a family member, can they expect you to contact them more than they contact you?
Maybe so, because you see your role ( as a child, parent, brother, sister or whatever) is to carry more of the burden than the other.
Are families supposed to be tolerant of each other? Obviously they are, but to what extent? For example, if you don't hear from them for a while; you aren't invited to parties or gatherings, etc. Are you to still unconditionally love them and accept them for who they are and how your relationship is with them? Because you are never invited, does this mean you are less loved? Can you be upset about never hearing from them? This is just how your relationship is and always has been. Do you have the right to be upset about it? And if you invite someone to these things, but they don't come for what seems to be legitimate reasons, should you be spiteful of that? Should you even pass judgement?
Now, is it possible to respond to these questions without assuming: a) it is about you or b) you know my answer to the question? I don't have answers, you don't have answers we just have opinions and beliefs. I challenge you to put your two cents in without being offended. After all, I am just putting this up as a conversation point.
You will have to control your eagerness to read into any of the questions, they are just questions that where on my mind. Don't make this something it is not. Think of this as a positive forum for exchanging ideas and gaining understanding of what each of us expects from family, your family.
Sorry for all the cautions and requests for checking your temper, but you may remember that once upon a time I ranted about Xmas lists and suddenly I was a idealistic scrouge that may never recieve a gift for the rest of my life! I love every gift I have ever recieved! Even the carolina blue fleece vest.
November 13, 2005
November 7, 2005
Entry retraction
I have re-wrote this a few times now. Simply sorry for the Christmas list entry. Straightforward honesty can be difficult to write without offending someone and it can be difficult to read without thinking it is about you. Please accept my apologies, whomever I offended.
November 6, 2005
Da Bears!!
Just thought I would take a moment to point out that the mighty Bears are making the Vikings look like a CFL team, a bad CFL team. Turn in the Queens jersey and get on the band wagon, baby! It is obvious that the addition of Cedric Benson to the team is karma come full circle. He may not contribute much to the team on the field, but just having a jersey with the name Benson on it was enough. Dad, Chad.... come on go get yourself one!!! Everyone in the family should get a Benson Bears jersey!!!!! The picture is just to serve as a small reminder that the Bears at least can win one.
November 4, 2005
This really is unbelievable
Here she is! Here is one of the ultrasound pictures they sent with us. I love this stuff, it really is amazing watching her move around and watching the four chamber of her heart beat. You can really see the outlind of her profile and she has one of her arms across her face. The black spot you see in her chest is the heart.
November 2, 2005
ITS A.............
I put a link on my blog for Baby Name Wizards for two reasons. First, the site Rocks. Even if you don't have a little one on the way, or if you do and have names picked out, you have to at least check this out. Secondly, since you are logging on to my blog you are privy to insider information! As you probably know we are expecting a new addition to the family. As you probably don't know, that addition is a little....................... Girl! Now comes the tricky part, we are stuck for girl names. If you could help us out here we would much appreciate it. We need your vote. Which name could you see completing this name __________ Christine Benson?
Clara
Addison
Quinn
Aja or Asia
Elaina (Gma Elaine inspired)
Annika or Anika
Sage or Saje
Alyse (A-leese) very similar to Paige Elisa
Orva (After Chad, his middle name is Orval)
Please list your vote, or suggestions in the comments option. Thank you!
Clara
Addison
Quinn
Aja or Asia
Elaina (Gma Elaine inspired)
Annika or Anika
Sage or Saje
Alyse (A-leese) very similar to Paige Elisa
Orva (After Chad, his middle name is Orval)
Please list your vote, or suggestions in the comments option. Thank you!
Gymnastics
Tonight we had gymnastics and let me tell you. Without sounding like a Dad with too much pride, I have to say that Kya is a natural in the gym! She cruises up and down the tramp like Mary Lou herself (that may be a slight lofty comparison). Here you can see her jumping on the tramp, I am not positive, but by looking at the picture and her shadow she may be about 13-14 feet off the tramp! Amazing! In all seriousness Kya has a great time at gymnastics and loves hanging out with Jackson as well as all the other kids. Hope you enjoy the pics.
Halloween
Here is our SCARY purple dinosaur! You gotta love a 2 year olds' first experience with Halloween. She had so much fun going to the houses, ringing the doorbell and saying "trick or treat". Both Jen and I were absolutly stunned at how into the trick or treating she was. I think she probably could have walked the entire city of Fargo that night and still wanted more. After each house she would pull one of our hands and say "Go other there! Light is on!" all the while leaning at about a 45 degree angle to pull us to the next house. She even carried her own bag the entire time. We're talken about a little girl that is barely 30lbs and a bag that was about 5lbs. (Obviously takes after her Daddy) Lastly, you may ask, why the dinosaur costume? Well... Kya has a little problem and we are seeking a support group, if you have any ideas let us know. She is a Barney addict, but still in denial. We need help!
November 1, 2005
Sad heart day
I have made many friends in my life and fortunately I have not had to deal with the loss of any. Today that changed, someone that I have played many sports with and drank a few cool ones with was taken from us all. I can't claim that Greg was one of my very close friends, however we had many good times together, even were roommates for a short time. He had a part in my life and will be missed. For those that also feel the loss, my family and I offer our condolences.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)